teenrhen

Am I Losing You...???

2006-09-12T01:59:00.000+05:30

Am I losing you…?

Life is not so fair as I expected it to be..
Is this the fate of all people to be…??
How could you just say,
that I should keep away…??

I felt like losing you, but thought it was a dream,
Its unfair to come in reality and make me lose my cream…

The night’s talk started with a blur note,
but I never expected the contents to be so hard to vote…

This is not the way I wanted to be treated
I never was able to do all you wanted,
But at least succeeded in providing what you needed.
Every word of you, I carefully heeded,
But never thought that our friendship would be so incompletely completed.

I really thought it was a bend,
But has the road we traveled come to an end…??

I am so lonely since I lost you…
Tonight while the snow flakes are falling,
I was there in the cold, deeply weeping,
But… you left me alone and were so happy sleeping.

I am never gonna say goodbye,
Even if that was what you want for life…
Even if you say that you’re bad,
I cannot feel that way though I try hard.

Friendship was so friendly when young,
but now, you say that it’s all done…
How could you so easily say things are not fine…??

Sent from up above,
‘U’- a blessing I never deserve.
Still had my doubts confine
Which I cannot even fully describe.

I thought that friendship was all beyond boundaries
and perpetuations…
but, its then you insisted on distance and limitations.

I find myself struck somewhere,
which eventually turns out to be nowhere.
I know all you do is not fair,
yet I am in the depth of deep despair.

Where is life taking me…??
Has it got the only plans of making me live without the taste of peace…??

World was well with me while winning
but, I didn’t knew that even your love would fade away while losing…

Is my life all done…??
Is my race all run…??
Should I not fight until the battle is won…??

You seem to be a vibration of multiple frequencies.
Some I can perceive, some I can infer, and some are unknown.

Guess it was the worst night of my life
When you said that the friendship was on a
contract side…

Never at all I thought it that way
But what else can I say…??
I’ll never get back my pay
And there is no more ace to play.

I don wanna talk,
If it makes you feel bad.
And you understand
I’ve come to shake you hand…

I apologize
If it makes you feel sad
Seeing me so tense
No self confidence…

I cannot comprehend things even when they are so tight.
I don find anything misplaced and everything seems to be right.
But then, tell me the reason why do these tears come at night.

Somewhere deep inside,
You must know I miss you…
But what can I say,
Your rules must be obeyed…

Am I losing you…??
Are my fears coming true...??
I wish I knew,
Am I losing you…??

Am I too blind to see
What’s been happening to me..
Every road has a bend,
but I don’t want an end…

Will the sweet things you do,
be for somebody new…??
Tell me what to do…
Am I losing you…??

Believe Rhenius, that no one believed you…
Understand Rhenius, that no one understood you…

BELIEVE UR MIND

2006-04-13T08:12:00.000+05:30

Self confidence…. The soul to succeed...
Sure to succeed...
Men may fail, but not will…
Mind is the most powerful tool on earth…. Never underestimate it...
Believe in you…

Understand that…. You can
You will and
You should…..

Life has all its doors open, but can be realized only when the reality is realized…
Live your life today and tomorrow will take care of it…

Never settle down for anything lesser that what you deserve...

Life never treats you… It’s all how you treat life...
It is what you make of it, every second, minute, day by day…

Remember that ….. If not you…. Then who..??
If not now…. Then when...??
If not here…. Then where…??

Above all..
“LOVE TO LIVE AND LIVE TO LOVE”

THE BEST DAD ON EARTH......!!!

2006-04-13T07:04:00.000+05:30

Actually this was not what I wanted to blog today.. I held an extremely diff notion of my postings today….but… things changed on its ways. Thoughts seemed less significant than feelings.. as, the former can be hidden but not the latter.. They burst out in one way or the other…

I was very much well within myself until that second when my mobile started crawling over the table singing the song ‘final countdown’.. I just peeped over the screen to find the person on it.. Hurray..!! it was my dad.. My most loving person on earth..

I flipped open with hell a lot of enthusiasm and spirit. We started off with a good note and shared things, had laughs and were just on… Everything was fine until the enquiry was on the problems that I usually make.. I never wanted to be a starter but it all falls to me... I found the change in the voice of the person on the other side. The usual tone got disrupted…the pitch got modified to a bit more authoritative... It all went on for few revolutions of the minute hand...

I still don’t find a single reason to prove that my dad’s anger was wrong... He was right in every possible sense...Actually, reality says that I am not me.. I’m really not the person whom I seem to be. I live a world of undercover life… To be more precise, I’m aberrant… I liked to try anything and everything... My idea of life was ‘never to leave anything unknown, or untouched in life... I had an unquenchable thirst for everything exciting in life...

Though the world never accepts this way of life…. but one thing that takes me to a secure habitat is that, the world sees only the outer person and not the inner ‘me’... This is what which makes most of them a perfect gentleman/woman…But we always forget to come to the limelight and realize that they are not what they seem to be...

Huh… wait a minute.. I have been a long way from what I was actually saying.. Anyway, let me roll back. The kind of life that I was living, created me to be irresponsible and not worthwhile.. I always took life as it came to me, never realizing the need of the moment..This did not sound satisfactorily pleasing my dad.. He always wanted his son to be a savant, more sapient, more logical and more of everything good.. Anyway.. I turned out to be more and more of his dislikes..

These conversations were getting hard over the telecommunication lines.. I live miles away from my dad…and this is the reason why I never got myself screwed off.. Anyway… things got a little fizzy and I dropped into a moody state and just naturally the conversation ended as it could.. Though my real ‘me’ is a person with a lot of energy to enjoy things, he was never a bad person indeed.. Though I seemed rough, was childish within...My thoughts started wandering... They ran all over my head to my spine.. The very thought that I have made my dad unhappy, started killing me... Literally petrified, I was flooded with tears that were almost continuous..

Typically laying down on my bed in the grey silence of my mind, suddenly found my mobile again crawling over my chest. It was my dad again. I opened my speech with a dull ‘hello’, not as enthusiastic as the previous one… One new aspect I discovered was a tremble in his voice... Dropping still more keen into it, I was confirmed and had to accept that he was also under the same feeling… actually, a lot more than mine.. Exactly, my mind lacked words to converse with... Had a feeling as I was not used to speaking before… and like no language was known to me... I was as dumb as I could be….

My Dad said…Son, Never feel that dad has been harsh on you... It’s all because….. I LOVE ‘YOU’ ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE...

I just burst out into a pool of tears, unable to bring myself to a point of acceptance that I am loved so much yet knowing for sure that I am no way worthy….

This may seem a totally absurd text for the onlookers... Yea... You are right when you consider it to be a text alone... Realization of the reality is possible only when considered as feelings.. Parents are the greatest assets of anyone... They live to love us... As my dad, writing on my mom would again take unnumbered pages more... She is God in reality, a heart that never hurts...

Understanding all these, I understood that fulfilling their dreams, auto direct us to our dreams... Now I just learnt to keep them at the first place and tend to move toward it...Just two sentences of my dad taught me so much...It made me accept the reality and understand life to the brim…

“MY DAD IS THE BEST DAD ON EARTH”… “MY PRICELESS POSSESSION”

In The beginning......

2006-04-12T01:32:00.000+05:30

well..
its the first time that i blog... There can be no space for nervousness or lack of flow of words or ideas here... Its all bec, i place myself comfortably over my bed with my one hand held over the mouse and the other holding a mug of rich coffee whose taste just melts the soul..

Fine then.. let me begin with a formal note of begining....HELLO...

Blogging is fine... but anyway its just equivalent to writing letters to the trash...
the internet can also be considered a trash, but with a difference..
may be a sensible dust bin..

Wish to continue soon.........................................